Leaning life skills

Ok, I’m 45 years old. Born 1972, but you know what, I’m glad I was born when I was, because personally I think I had the best years, no mobile phones, no computers as such, and definitely no internet, we did go out more because we had to, there was no bloody choice. Childhood, I had a grifter bike, my best friend had a chopper which I always thought was an automatic bike due to the gear lever looking the same as my dad car, he then sold it and bought a bmx, my friend, not my dad, he was a typical Volvo driver and a bank manager.

Anyway, we used to ride everywhere, we had tons of parks around us, we also went swimming to the local pool, or go into the nearest town, or bus it into Sutton or Croydon. Going to London was easy too, just get a red rover ticket and spend the day on trains tubes and buses.

It felt safer back then as well, leaving school but still hanging onto certain school friends cause you didn’t know anyone else, I worked for a bank, started the job 2 days after my 16th birthday 1988, in northcote road, Clapham, took the train in until I could drive. Sometimes being touched up by the gay married confused commuters. You know those cheap little thrills

I thought I was a yuppie working London, I had a Filofax (empty) but still had one. I was earning great money for a 16 year old. And I was going out, I was a closet gay, and you had to find out the local gay hangouts to get any action or to meet people. I do a different blog on gay dating as I feel this may go on and on.

The local housing estate where some mates lived were constantly being film by the tv program the bill, only place where it didn’t look out of place and no one battered an eye lid.

But we used to hang out there, drinking, smoking, and when the first one to drive got a car, we went to pubs, and these were proper south London pubs, but I was never scared.


About two weeks ago we were told that we had a meeting along with a training day along with blood test, now with work I had to have my hep b test etc as I work in a Hospital, but never had any other test, so the latest test includes everything, including HIV, now being a gay man, I know about HIV I have friends who are positive, I had a friend die of aids back in the early 90’s, but I’ve never had a test, I know, I know, but always been careful, but you never know. So I was basically shitting myself. So last Friday was the day, I put on a brave face, my friend always jokes that I have aids because I’m gay, and he also says that he will get it cause he sits next to me, (it’s done in a joking way, you know the more hurtful you are to someone the better, cause you are friends)

So Tuesday this week, a work colleague got an email saying she wasn’t immune to chicken pox, I went to boot up the nearest computer and logged in, everything from my blood test came back clear, it was great. Felt like celebrating, but I know not to be scared of blood test in the future, even though I’ve been having a full blood count blood test every 6 months for my fibromyalgia, but that doesn’t include HIV.

Plus between having the test and finding out the results, my manager told me she wants to me to go up a band, and maybe do a degree. In my head all I was thinking is the blood test is going to be a stop to that. So all good, and at 45 years old, I maybe starting university!

Chav boy is having an affair

So my friend the chav boy, (in his 30’s and still thinking he’s a twink) is having an affair, I found out when he asked if we could have his husband over for an evening, and if he could stay over too so he can spend the night with his new fella. I said no to him, he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, as he wasn’t looking for it, however I did say to him if he was happy in his relationship he wouldn’t of gone on seeing this bloke, it gets difficult when he’s talking about him as he calls his new bloke and husband the same nick names. trouble and Bbe boi, I do correct his spelling and also have mentioned to him that he should come up with a new nick name. He also says he has come of Grindr, I know this is crap as I saved his profile as a favourite so I know he’s on line all the bloody time.

He’s still looking for a job, well he says he is anyway, but he also said there is nothing out there at the moment, and Kev offered him a cleaning job but he turned that down, saying he’s too busy, with what I have no idea, all he does is take his dog for a walk. If I think of anything else, I let people know.

A holiday with Terry & June

About 7 years ago we went to France with our friend Shaun, cause Kev and I constantly talked about Millau in the midi Pyrenees he wanted to come along, plus he had just bought a new cabriolet and wanted to take it for a spin. We decided to book into a gay B&B half way down to break up the journey in Burgundy.

We knew it was a gay B&B and naturist friendly too and the owners were called Terry & Tony, and they said via email that we wouldn't miss their house, the sat nav said we had about 20 miles to go but still an hour away, it was all dirt tracks and we saw no life what's so ever until a little house with a veranda with 2 old people on rocking chairs, it was very deliverance. Finally we saw the gay pride flags.

It had started raining slightly but Terry and Tony were there stark bollock naked holding an umbrella, they greeted us warmly and said they will give us a tour of the garden once the rain had stopped. Their house was actually 3 cottages all joined. And apparently it was used in the french resistance. It was a cosy place. We were showed our rooms, Kev and I had a lovely double and Shaun had a little room in the eves of the roof, so we naturally called him Harry Potter from then on. We went downstairs for drinks while dinner was being cooked, it was typically french, cosy lounge, log burner, drinking red wine with our naked host, I would like to point out that Terry and Tony were both in their 70's. We renamed them Terry and June after the TV program. Dinner was lovely and we retired for the night, Shaun was a little worried in case he got raped in the night, but he was fine.

In the morning after a typical french breakfast of a full English fry up we were taken on a tour of the garden, first was the orchard with plastic fruit in the trees, via the overground swimming pool with real ducks in, pass the nudist beach with action men in various sexual positions to the highlight of Terry and June's garden their Japanese garden which consisted of a Buddha on a paving slab with a Japanese acer in a plant pot.

The sun was out, the roof was down and we said farewell to Terry and June and said we can't wait to visit again. And then Shaun put his foot down to drive to the south of France.

We did go back a couple of years later, and we may even go back again,

July’s holiday

Well I'm back to work, I sort of had a good time, but also had a bad time too, strange holiday, started of really well, went to the Puy-Du-Fou evening show, which was great but also quite upsetting, as it was the day before Mums death anniversary, and I know she would of loved it so much, so basically throughout the 2 hour show I was thinking about her. But the show was amazing, and what I didn't know was that it was the 1000th show, plus on Bastille day too!

It was great to meet up with friends over in France and the first 10 days the weather was fabulous, then our friend sharon joined us for the last week. Now in future, I'm never taking or inviting friends to stay, 2 nights maximum is what I can handle, I don't like entertaining, seriously I am crap at it, she was fine, there was no problems, easy going, but I felt I couldn't do what I want with friends staying, I like having my afternoon naps, and she's a veggie, so it didn't help with the food and places we could eat.

Kev organised a surprised party for me for my birthday, I hate surprise parties, always have done, it was nice that he done it though and it was a good night, but I hate being centre of attention, I want to hide in the corner, I'm not a big crowd of people type of person, then I wanted to change what I was wearing to the burlesque night, I felt uncomfortable in what I was wearing as a lot of people said they weren't dressing up, this didn't go down well, and to be honest the last 4 days of the holiday I felt that I couldn't do anything right what's so ever, I'm. It sure if it's that I'm another year older that I'm down in the dumps, but seriously not happy at the moment. Just feel as though I'm in the way all the time or being ignored.

Anyway, need to get back to work

A gay man without gaydar

Most gay men have an inbuilt gaydar, I don’t, never have and don’t think I ever will have. Seriously if they were naked infront of me flapping their willy in my face I would still have doubts! 

I think the thing is cause everyone knows I’m gay, a lot of the straight blokes I work with can be quite flirty, and I flirt back, I know 90% of them are straight, but then you get a few that I have no idea, that’s the reason I have grindr, just incase someone could be on it that I know, I work in a hospital in the new forest, and believe you me, there’s hardly anyone on it. 

I think it’s I don’t understand straight blokes, and I never know how far to play it, or if it’s just straight bloke banter. I’m easily confused anyway. 

Shame it’s not the 70’s again where there was a dress code. Be so much easier! 

It’s a funny old world 

I’m having another Facebook moment, I should delete it, but I’m not strong enough, plus I would only reinstate it 30 minutes later, 

So the ex friend the fake vicar, put on his post about giving blood, as in a blood donation, well I know he’s lying as gay men are not allowed to give blood unless you not had sex with another man for 12 months, and unless his relationship is up the duff. 

But the main thing about Facebook is the politics and brexit, now I voted remain, I like the EU, yes I know they have some issues, but on the whole I like being part of Europe, about being free to go where I want, and also wanting to move to France, I can see people’s view on leaving the EU, but I just hate all the “out now” the people have spoken, get on with it, hard deal, close the borders. (Don’t think they understand we live on an island) 

It just seems everyone is so angry, angry with foreign people, angry with muslims, seems so much hatred at the moment, and also people saying bring back Nigel farage, now he really gets on my goat, can’t stand the little frog face prick, 

Anyway, been off Facebook for ten minutes, I wonder what’s happening? 

Drivers that won’t drive 

I have 2 friends that are both ok their 30’s, gay male, that have issues with driving in certain conditions, a gay couple we know recently went to lanzarote for a holiday, and Callum took his mum along for her first holiday in 20 years, the day before they were due to fly home she was taken ill and was admitted to hospital. 

Callum and Ant had to fly home without her due to work commitments, and his mum was kept in hospital for 2 weeks, the insurance company in the end were not willing to pay for the flight home or to have someone fly home with her, so Callum booked the tickets to fly out on a Sunday and fly back with his mum on the Tuesday. 

The flights he could get were from Gatwick, which is about 2 hours away, now I would of bought he would of driven up there himself and left the car up there, as a couple of days parking charges wouldn’t have been that much money, but for some reason he got a lift up there. On Monday evening he phoned Kev asking if he could pick him and his mum up on the Tuesday, the flight came in at 1.30am, 

Kev did ask why his husband Ant couldn’t pick him up, Ant once attempted to drive to Gatwick, had to pull over at Winchester services (about 20 miles from his house) as he couldn’t go any further and had a panic attack, Ant does not like to travel over a distance of 30 miles as it tires him out, doesn’t like driving on a motorway, or places he hasn’t been before, he has a brand new car, so it’s not as if he’s worried about breaking down, 

Our other friend Chav boy, won’t go out of it’s raining or if the weather is looking dodgy, and he won’t travel more than an hour as it tires him out for too long! 

In the end Kev picked him up, coming home at 5.30 in the morning, and still going to work at 9am, 

Maybe it’s me, but what is it with these 2 guys?? 

May’s Holiday

I was attempting to update often when I was on holiday, but internet was crap and when I did have wifi, I was with other people so that would of been quite rude, 

It was a great holiday, the first two days were warm but overcast, then it was bloody hot, I went to the on site bar once, for bingo, and was amazed they have now started selling fridge water (basically tap water that has been put in a jug in the fridge) for €1.50, bingo was a laugh, but very poor turnout, one night after we had been drinking at the pub in the village I dropped a couple of people back at the site, my mate jules went into the onsite bar for another drink, they did serve her reluctantly as they wanted to shut, and jules did say that the wine tasted like shit, so when she returned yesterday evening she was given a formal warning by the landlady, and if she slagged of her wine again she would be banned. I now think jules is on a mission. 

Kev and j wanted to explore more this holiday, we had found a nudist beach not far from us, but I also found on line a gay nudist beach a little further, we decided to have lunch first at a nice restaurant on the sea front, then go an explore, eventually we found the beach, started of with family’s and single people naked in the beach, then we saw the dunes, it’s seems it was split in 2, one side you had couples, and the other side was the gay side, you could tell that a lot of action went on here, not really my cup of tea, however the beach was amazing, we will go back there in July, and see how it goes, I think they do tend to leave you alone, but I must admit, I do prefer a gay nudist beach. Not for any action, but the views are sometimes better!! 

Spent most of our time there in the chateau bar in the village, it was nice and shady, and of course Excellent company with mark and Becky, and our new friend jules, 

Kev had to fly home on the Thursday, due to work, and I drove home the following Monday, must admit Kev and I had probably had the best conversation ever via text over the days we were apart, and got a lot sorted out. I’m always better at writing things rather than saying them out aloud. 

It was a shame coming home, it’s getting worse each time, I know I’m back there in 6 weeks, but I just miss it. 

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