A holiday with Terry & June

About 7 years ago we went to France with our friend Shaun, cause Kev and I constantly talked about Millau in the midi Pyrenees he wanted to come along, plus he had just bought a new cabriolet and wanted to take it for a spin. We decided to book into a gay B&B half way down to break up the journey in Burgundy.

We knew it was a gay B&B and naturist friendly too and the owners were called Terry & Tony, and they said via email that we wouldn't miss their house, the sat nav said we had about 20 miles to go but still an hour away, it was all dirt tracks and we saw no life what's so ever until a little house with a veranda with 2 old people on rocking chairs, it was very deliverance. Finally we saw the gay pride flags.

It had started raining slightly but Terry and Tony were there stark bollock naked holding an umbrella, they greeted us warmly and said they will give us a tour of the garden once the rain had stopped. Their house was actually 3 cottages all joined. And apparently it was used in the french resistance. It was a cosy place. We were showed our rooms, Kev and I had a lovely double and Shaun had a little room in the eves of the roof, so we naturally called him Harry Potter from then on. We went downstairs for drinks while dinner was being cooked, it was typically french, cosy lounge, log burner, drinking red wine with our naked host, I would like to point out that Terry and Tony were both in their 70's. We renamed them Terry and June after the TV program. Dinner was lovely and we retired for the night, Shaun was a little worried in case he got raped in the night, but he was fine.

In the morning after a typical french breakfast of a full English fry up we were taken on a tour of the garden, first was the orchard with plastic fruit in the trees, via the overground swimming pool with real ducks in, pass the nudist beach with action men in various sexual positions to the highlight of Terry and June's garden their Japanese garden which consisted of a Buddha on a paving slab with a Japanese acer in a plant pot.

The sun was out, the roof was down and we said farewell to Terry and June and said we can't wait to visit again. And then Shaun put his foot down to drive to the south of France.

We did go back a couple of years later, and we may even go back again,

May’s Holiday

I was attempting to update often when I was on holiday, but internet was crap and when I did have wifi, I was with other people so that would of been quite rude, 

It was a great holiday, the first two days were warm but overcast, then it was bloody hot, I went to the on site bar once, for bingo, and was amazed they have now started selling fridge water (basically tap water that has been put in a jug in the fridge) for €1.50, bingo was a laugh, but very poor turnout, one night after we had been drinking at the pub in the village I dropped a couple of people back at the site, my mate jules went into the onsite bar for another drink, they did serve her reluctantly as they wanted to shut, and jules did say that the wine tasted like shit, so when she returned yesterday evening she was given a formal warning by the landlady, and if she slagged of her wine again she would be banned. I now think jules is on a mission. 

Kev and j wanted to explore more this holiday, we had found a nudist beach not far from us, but I also found on line a gay nudist beach a little further, we decided to have lunch first at a nice restaurant on the sea front, then go an explore, eventually we found the beach, started of with family’s and single people naked in the beach, then we saw the dunes, it’s seems it was split in 2, one side you had couples, and the other side was the gay side, you could tell that a lot of action went on here, not really my cup of tea, however the beach was amazing, we will go back there in July, and see how it goes, I think they do tend to leave you alone, but I must admit, I do prefer a gay nudist beach. Not for any action, but the views are sometimes better!! 

Spent most of our time there in the chateau bar in the village, it was nice and shady, and of course Excellent company with mark and Becky, and our new friend jules, 

Kev had to fly home on the Thursday, due to work, and I drove home the following Monday, must admit Kev and I had probably had the best conversation ever via text over the days we were apart, and got a lot sorted out. I’m always better at writing things rather than saying them out aloud. 

It was a shame coming home, it’s getting worse each time, I know I’m back there in 6 weeks, but I just miss it. 

The 28 hour car journey & cap d’agde

It must of been about 9 years ago now, but I done one of those Sun Newspaper holiday, cut out the coupons and sent of £48 for a 4 night holiday in Perignan, south of France near the Spanish boarder, we also got a discount on the cross channel ferry, this was to be Kev’s first time in the south of France. The accommodation was a tent, but fully furnished with electric etc, we just had to bring bedding and towels. 

About a week before we were due to go out car had issues, and we knew very well that it would not make the long journey. We didn’t want to cancel so we thought who we knew that could get time of and have a half decent car. 

Our friend Martin left work a few months before hand to look after his elderly parents full time, and he had an early model Toyota Prius. Which was his pride and joy, we sent him a message saying if he fancied a holiday, and we would pay for petrol if he took his car, Martin was well up for it. The accommodation was from a Monday to Friday morning, so Martin came over Sunday lunchtime, we had were taking the night ferry from Dover and aimed to drive through the night. We thought we would leave around 5pm ish and take an easy drive to Dover which was about 3 hours away, we then found out that Martin doesn’t like to drive above 64mph. We got to the ferry just in time, crossing was fine and we were in France about midnight, 

The motorways in France are great, and with a speed limit of 80mph. But no, Martin still drove at 64, Paris was a bit of a nightmare as you do need balls of steel to drive through Paris, but we done it, and slowley headed south, Kev was put on the insurance to give Martin a break, but he was fine and said he still drive for the time being. He did want to go over the Millau Viaduct, which had recently been built in the Midi Pyrenees. The highest in the world, which was great for us, just before you go over the bridge there is an information centre where we park up. Kev and Martin decided to walk up the hill a little bit to get a better view of the bridge, I stayed behind and plonked myself down on a bench looking at the town of Millau, little did I know then, but for the next 5 years this is where we were to spend our holidays. 

anyway, it was about 5pm now, and I said we should stop at a supermarket as the shop on site would probably be closed when we got there, and we didn’t have any food or drink etc. But Martin said he was fine to carry on driving, I know I did repeat this every half hour, at about 7.30 and still a way to go, I phoned the camp site to say we were running late and wouldn’t be there for the 8pm latest arrival time, they were great and said there would be someone there to help us, still no supermarket stop! We got to the the site about 9.30, checked in ok, I needed the loo, so went to find the toilet block, kev and Martin went to see if the onsite pizza place was still open. I went to pee, then promptly got lost, I was not in a good mood, lost, hungry, in pain from being in the car for 28 hours. I did manage to find our tent and had pizza. 

First thing Tuesday morning we went to the supermarket, came back to the tent, had lunch and went through what we wanted to do on the short holiday. Now Martin is an avid nudist, as soon as he gets in his house he strips off, any chance to be nude he is there, Kev will walk around home naked sometimes, and he prefers an all over tan, I was much reserve back then. Anyway, not far away was Cap d’agde. A nudist village, right in the beach, it has hotels, campsites, shops, restaurants, car wash, all naturist, it even had a petrol station at one point, for a nudist it is the number one place to go. And Martin wanted to go. 

So on Wednesday morning we set of to the Cap d’agde, didn’t take us too long to get there, normal person would of done it in about 40 minutes, so 2 hours later we got there, you had to buy a day pass from a little building before you were allowed in the village. I think it was about €8 each, then we were allowed through the gates, saw the first naked people walking, it did seem strange, I mean I been to a nudist beach before but this was like seeing someone naked walking down the high street. We worked the car, I stayed clothed, Kev stripped but had a sarong round his waist, and Martin went completely naked, well almost, he had a cock ring on. The first stop was a cafe, I ordered a double jack Daniels and coke. The others had a coffee, €32 was the bill! WTF!! I think I said yes too quickly wehen Martin ask if we wanted the same again. 

 Not everyone was naked, majority was though, after our drinks we went exploring, it was surreal, a naked supermarket, naked shops, the clothes shops were mainly for the kinky side, and mainly aimed for women, with very erotic clothing. Shops done we headed for the beach. 

Now, when we got to the beach it was empty, we walked a fair bit until I saw a tree log on the ground, so decided to make ourselves home there, I don’t like being in the full sun for that long, before long other people were setting up on the beach. I lady who I thought was selling ice creams came up with her trolley to us, at that point I had euros waiting for an iced lolly, however she wasn’t selling ice creams, only condoms, lube and poppers. We said we were fine and moved along. The next thing I knew the lady in front of us (about 10′ away) started giving her husband a blow job, then within seconds there was a group of men just staring with their dicks in their hands, when she saw them, she shooed them away, we later discovered we were on the swingers beach. Apparently there is a family beach, then couple beach, then swingers beach and right at the end there’s the gay beach. 

Kev and Martin were hungry, so went in search of food, lots of restaurants and clubs on site, however of you are a single male, you are not allowed in, gay or straight, gay couple or not, the majority of the places only allowed “straight” couples. We did find a snack bar which was under cover a small shopping centre. And ordered bagatte and frites. As soon as we sat down it started to rain heavily, Martin was still naked, Kev now had a hoody on, I was fully clothed because it went bloody freezing, but the food was great. I then saw walking toward me, a rather large naked lady, she had one of those see through plastic macs on, with a matching hood. “Fuck me it’s a human condom” it just came out of my mouth, didn’t check with my brain at all, and it was at the excact moment the whole place went quiet. 

Did another wander around, a lot of the shops were sex shops, and we ended up in the first bar we went to when we first went there, it was getting late, Sun was going down and no one was naked anymore, apart from Martin, and he got a quite a few looks because of it. The men were dressed normally, jeans, t-shirt etc etc, but the women dressed very very erotically, mesh/sheer clothing, one had a belt on, yes just a belt, and the whole place just seemed very seedy. In my opinion, the whole place is for swingers, not true nudist, and no way would I take young children there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude, far from it, and I happy get naked now, but Cap d’agde is for straight couples only, and I’ve heard this from other people, and even the local people and the police want to shut it down, as when it was first opened it was for everyone, and very child friendly. 

I’m glad I’ve been there, and if I was in the area again, I would go back there to see if my first impressions was right or not. But I can tick it of a bucket list of 100 places to go before you die. 

On a sub note, we left Friday at 9am and got home Saturday at 6am, so much quicker on way home! 

Anyone want to come to France? 

A few people know that the next holiday Kev is flying back a couple of days early and I’m staying out there and driving back, it’s only a couple of nights, but as I don’t need to be back to work till the Tuesday and Kev has to be back the Friday before I thought I may as well stay out there, 

Anyway, a gay friend of mine just really annoyed me, he said if I pay for his plane ticket to get over (if anyone does come out, they be driving back with me on the ferry) so he said pay for his ticket, food and drink, plus if I could get him enough cigarettes for his time over he said he will be happy to keep me company, well he can totally fuck off! Seriously what was he thinking. 

Don’t think I would mind so much if he was good looking or a bit of eye candy, or if he wore any decent clothes or didn’t wear any clothes. honestly there is nothing about him that is a turn on, he has no personality, no job and no money, he’s on some benefits, but not a lot, he is just completely unemployable, he goes to bed at 9pm every night and gets up at 3am then moans the rest of the day that he’s been up since 3 and he’s tired, tired! I give him tired, I’ve been tired since 1972!! 

He likes to think he’s a bit of a chav lad, dresses in tracksuit bottoms, t shirt, hoody, non matching socks and trainers, couple of gold chains, bracelets, never wears underwear (doesn’t need to, nothing to support) he calls himself a lad too, in reality he’s 35, overweight, bad haircut and a personality of a pig, why am I friends with him? personally I completely no idea, 

Me and Kev have an open house policy, anyone can come round, we don’t do much in the weekday evenings, come home, get changed, eat, bath then watch telly, mainly films or box sets, then we go to bed, so anyone is welcome, make yourself at home, get your own drink and while you in the kitchen make me a coffee or get another bottle of wine out of the fridge, we do like some notice, as Kev could be sitting there almost or completely naked, I more than likely to be in my dressing gown with the bear hood, but you find us how we are, no airs or graces. 

So Chav lad comes round, never makes himself or offer to make a coffee, plonks himself down on the sofa, leaves his trainers on (we don’t mind shoes in the house but if you staying and vegging out, make yourself comfortable) and I like mens feet, well some of them anyway. Either bare feet or socks, it’s quite nice to look at, and don’t get me started on trainer socks! They can send me wild on the right person, so he sits there, chain drinking coffee, and it’s bloody good coffee, it’s a Nespresso machine, he goes through about 8, I constantly hurting my toe cause his trainers get in the way, (it’s a corner sofa so if you in the corner can be difficult to get up sometimes) moans about his life, his husband, how tired he is, and he’s got no money, well get of your fat arse and do something then, the world doesn’t owe you anything, 

So, anyone fancy a little break in France? I treat you dinner. 😜

The spare bedroom in the van, see it’s quite posh! Got carpets and everything, 

Buying a mobile home

So, back to France, we arrange with the Carol the rep from the UK company that sold mobile home abroad, Carol along with her hair, (I’m not sure if it was a hairdo or a statement of purpose) anyway, she showed us 7 vans on the site, we got to know each other quite well after I slagged of the first van, so she knew what we were like, she didn’t show us one as she said she knew we would hate it, one had just come on for sale, residential spec, shed, full decking and a bashe (which is like an awning) one owner, fully fitted including Nespresso machine, plasma TV and satalite dish, and double the amount we wanted to pay, we told her we would put 50% down cash now and the rest of 2 years, she was very septical, and said she would get back to us. 

The next day we were by the coast, just had a very nice lunch and was wandering around the old town when my phone went, it was Carol, all agreed apart from 2 years interest free, we had 18 months instead! 

We done so much that week, as we never been to the area before, so saw all the local towns, shops, what was available there and prices too, the beaches (all 150 miles of them) we knew there was a big gay scene in Nantes which is only about 40 miles away, and beaches to suit all, normal, gay, nude, gay nude, everything seems 20 minutes away, the towns, the beaches etc. 

While we were on the site we went to the on site bar a couple of times, but back then it was still ran by the French bloke, 

We could only stay on site for 7 days, the last night we decided to book into a spa hotel on the coast, so it was either to celebrate buying a home or ending a crap holiday, we made plans to return in October 2015 to sign the contracts and get the keys. 

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